Thoughts on Love and Freedom

"Often freedom is seen as the ability to do whatever you want. But freedom isn't being able to have whatever we crave. Freedom is going without whatever we crave and being fine with it."

-Rob Bell, SexGod

True Freedom is contentment.

"[Love/Eros] cannot of himself be what, nevertheless, he must be if he is to remain Eros. He needs help; therefore he needs to be ruled. [Love/Eros] dies or becomes a demon unless he obeys God. It would be well if, in such case, he always died. But he may live on, mercilessly chaining together two mutual tormentors, each raw all over with the poison of hate-in-love, each ravenous to receive and implacably refusing to give, jealous, suspicious, resentful, struggling for the upper hand, determined to be free and to allow no freedom..."

-C.S.Lewis, The Four Loves

True Love is willing to lose for freedom

over demanding its own in bondage.

"...the truth will set you free."

-Jesus, John 8:32

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

-Paul, I Cor. 13:7

True Love sets free.

"...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

-Paul, II Cor. 3:17

True Love is True Freedom.

Not Psalm 22 exactly

My God, My God! Why have I forsaken you?
Why do I remain distant?
Why do I ignore my heart's cries for help?

Everyday you call to me, my God, but I do not answer.
Every night. I hear your voice, but
I do not listen.

You are holy...

(To me:) Do not stay so far from God,
for trouble is near
and no one else can help me.

My life is poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax,
melting within me.
My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
I have laid myself in the dust and left myself for dead.

O Lord, why do I stay away?
You are my strength--I must come quickly to you!

Rescue me from myself.

Snatch me from the jaws of the lion
of numb complacency,
and from the horns of these wild oxen
of chaos, disorder, and decay.

The poor will eat eat and be satisfied.
All who seek the Lord will praise him.
Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.

62

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done. For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory;

you will be called by a new name

that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah [it means "my delight is in her"] and your land Beulah [it means "married"]; for the LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth. The LORD has sworn by his right hand and by his mighty arm:"Never again will I give your grain as food for your enemies, and never again will foreigners drink the new wine for which you have toiled; but those who harvest it will eat it and praise the LORD, and those who gather the grapes will drink it in the courts of my SANCTUARY." Pass through, pass through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Build up, build up the highway! Remove the stones. Raise a banner for the nations. The LORD has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: "Say to the Daughter of Zion, 'See, your Savior comes! See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.' "

They will be called the Holy People,

the Redeemed of the LORD;

and YOU will be called Sought After,

the City No Longer Deserted.

50 times down but never undone

Everyone falls.

Thus:

Redemption.

Regeneration._____

__________Restoration.

Reconciliation._______________

Revive!

Life is barely made of some dormant, constant root;

Rather, it more pervasively consists in a slew of

the life-altering Envigorating Prefix:

"Re-"

Boxed Hearts

I was journaling the other day, and as I wrote, I felt that God wanted to answer me in my writing. So, I began a conversation, maybe with God, or perhaps just with my own thoughts portraying my idea of Him on the page. Whatever the case, this was the interaction we shared, beginning with the following verse:

God (Micah 6:3): "What have I done to you? How have I burdened you?"

Me: Rules. All of these weighty thoughts of what should I do, what's the right thing to do, is this right or wrong, GUILT.

God: None of that is me. Where is your heart, Daniel?

Me: Where? Uh...is it not with you?

God: You have it right now.

Me: Why do I have it? We both know I can't take good care of it. I don't think. I mean, we see how that's worked out so far. . . . How do you care for a heart?

God: Let it beat.

Me: I'm not?

God: Are you?

Me: I'm not. I'm squeezing. Clutching. Surpressing.

God: Hearts burst that way. Blood must flow freely.

Me: I plug up my veins, don't I? I stuff my heart in a too-small box. How many times have I dropped it, now? What do I do?

God: Give it to me. Let me unwrap it.

Me: Like a Christmas present.

God: A gift. Gifts aren't meant to stay in boxes. They're to be opened and enjoyed.

Me: Take my heart, Jesus! Take care of it! I can't love hearts right. I only know how to box them up.

God: Boxed hearts strain to beat. Free hearts dance to the beat. Free your heart. Boxes are so unnatural, anyway. I don't make boxes.

Me: So what should hearts go in?

God: My hands.

Me: Care for my heart, Jesus, and teach me how to care for it, too.

God: Let it beat.

Me: How?

God: Stop hoarding it away. Freely you have received. Freely give. Nothing held back. Start here, with me. Give it all to me. Otherwise, you can't give. A heart works only in wholeness. Try and cut off parts, you bleed everywhere, and it is drained of life. Wholly give it to me, and I am free to hold it freely so that, in my hands, it can beat freely, give freely, and love freely. You will not know your heart, nor will you know anyone else's, nor will they know yours, nor will you know mine, until you uncover your heart. Give it up.

Me: How do I know you won't break it?

God: I break nothing that I do not mend whole. Some things cannot be whole unless they are first broken more. I am not about destroying your heart--not your dreams, your desires, your hopes, or your longings. I am about redeeming and fulfilling. Wholeness is what you want. There is no wholeness apart from me. Come to me.

Me: But...

God: Trust me. I love you.

Journey to the Center

I'm beginning to see just how much we as Christians pay so much attention to tidying up ourselves on the outside. But we spend so much time trying to look good on the outside, we end up as shells of who we really want to be and were made to be. How many of us spend years living outside lives--existing outside of ourselves, refusing to admit what's going on inside? And then we wonder why we can't find God.

The reason is because God doesn't reside on the outside of a person. When you begin a relationship with Christ, He enters into the core of your being. If you never go there, you won't ever really meet with Him, because He isn't concerned about how well it looks like you're holding things together on the outside. His focus is True Internal Reformation of the Soul. He hopes to find you there, too, but He doesn't force any changes. You have to choose them. Otherwise, your heart just gets stale, then moldy, then unbearably putrid; eventually, you'll end up facing what's in there one way or another. It's much better if you choose to face it.

I'm not saying all this to prove that I'm an expert. Actually, I'm saying it because I've just discovered it. I, myself, have ignored my heart and the things going on inside for awhile. And I finally have come to the point where I'm ready to bring all of the messiness to Jesus--or let Jesus in to all the messiness (however it works). He says He wants to meet me there, inside, in my center. He wants to bring me; to take me into my heart--into all the pain and the bitterness and the sin and filth and decay. He wants to show me the Good He's placed there, the Truth, the Meaning. He wants to dig through all the chaos and disorder and uncover something beautiful and brilliant and strong that's been buried underneath:

Me.

Jesus won't purify the heart without invitation, however. And it's not a pretty process. Already, as I make my way inside, into the core of my life, I have uncovered terrible fears, horrors of pain, and some things I didn't even know were there. And I've just begun. But I'm not going into all of this without Him. It's just plain discouraging if you do. And though it's overwhelming either way, with Christ, as you plunge into the dangerous darkness of this cavern, Light makes its way inside. Healing can start. Only with Jesus can you find the treasure buried inside of you, because He's the only One who can bring it out of you. He put it there, but it was buried over time by all the mis-truths and lies and destructive forces that have seeped in--or have been let in.

What would it be like if we stopped living externally? What if we actually went inside, where Jesus is? He won't meet us on the surface. Asking Him to is like asking a musician to make a song with only one note, or an author to write a book using 3 letters. He goes much deeper than the shallows we wade in--the weight of His glory is too heavy for false externity. And if we ever want to really know Him, know ourselves, and know Life, we have to go with Him, sink with Him, into the crushing depths, wherein our hollow shells collapse and we find ourselves finally free.

He is Spirit.

We are spirit.

To live on the outside is to deny ourselves the reality of both.

More concisely, to live on the outside is to deny ourselves--what He has made.

But let's be frank about this:
you and I both know that

to live on the outside

isn't really living

at all.

A note from someone overlooked:

Watch for me.

-God.

Surprise!

The midnight garden was silent with the quiet of air before a storm, but they couldn't sense it. All they could sense was the stillness, the darkness, the lateness. They'd been walking all day, and though they couldn't tell what it was, the heaviness of the night bore down on them. It'd been a big week, and something was happening. They just didn't know what. But they did know that the easiest thing to do was to give in to the pull towards slumber. And as their friend went off down the garden path, they couldn't help but doze a little. And before they knew it, the deceptive peace of the garden had lulled them into a deep and long-awaited sleep.

You know, I don't think He was a bit surprised to find them like that. When Jesus returned, wiping beads of blood-sweat from his forehead, I doubt He was shocked that they would be so weak-willed as to let sleep rob them of the prayer they needed so much more than any physical refreshment. I don't think he was surprised, either, when Peter slashed the servant's ear off. Or that Judas did what he did, realizing only too late that it wasn't even what he really wanted. Nor do I think Jesus was surprised that all of His disciples fled from Him that night, deserting Him to a terrible fate. I would have fled. Wouldn't you have?

And poor Peter. "No, I really don't know Him!" he screams for the third time, throwing some of the dirty language from his old life in as well. Immediately, the rooster crows. And though Jesus is too far away to really make out, Peter can feel his gaze. It breaks Peter's heart. He feels his insides descend into excruciating sadness as he realizes the one thing he swore he'd never do has already happened, and he can't take it back.

But Jesus wasn't surprised.

He knew. He knew that, as followers go, His disciples weren't necessarily the most qualified. But He chose them anyway. He chose Peter. He chose Judus.

It doesn't surprise Him when we mess up. But it does surprise us. And I think that's what He wants to happen. He wants us to be surprised so that we will finally see what He already knew: we aren't naturally good; we need Him. He is faithful and committed to us. He is not surprised at the sinful things we do. "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak," He says. He knows when we're going to mess up and fail. But he continues to love us when our image of ourselves having it all together is shattered to our surprise; He continues to love us into Truth. We can either deny the surprise and stay stubbornly (but falsely) self-righteous. We can pretend to be good people, though actually filthy. Or, we can accept the surprise, let go of pride, and know God.

What would it be like to see myself this way? Even others? What would it be like to see ourselves as Jesus does? Not surprised at corruption and sin, but saddened by it? Not condemning, but compassionate and encouraging and hopeful, urging ourselves onward to becoming the best version of ourselves, with His help, in Him? What would it be like to let Him love us into Truth, passing on, then, that love to others? Because God knows we all need healing, we all need grace, and we all need another chance. From Him. From each other. From ourselves.

We goof things up all the time. But in reality, it's no surprise. Not for Jesus anyway. He loves us, regardless. And that's where our life is, if we let Him override the surprise of our fallenness with the surprise of His goodness. Out of the two, the latter is the greater surprise. We just rarely get there because we can't get over the fact that we can't get it right. And He says,

"It's okay.

I know.

Let me.

Here,

I have something for you."

He opens His hands, and they overflow with light as His dreams for us and His love for us and His eternal, unending blessings pour into our weary souls. As we stand there gaping from the awe and wonder and shock of it all, He smiles, and tears flow from His eyes, echoing the streams flowing from our own.
And He whispers,

"Surprise!"

Chip said it.

"Prayer is our passport

to God's perspective."

Big

Trees tower over us...

...reminding us that we are not the biggest things alive.

But they also provide us with shade and beauty...

...reminding us that What is bigger is also benevolent.

Glory's Blood Grows Brilliant Still

Growth is Encouraged Here

Peace of Beauty

When God Smiles:

The One Thing

The only difference between
immorality and immortality
is this:

and that's all.

Direction

Proverbs 23:23

"Buy the truth and do not sell it."

Beauty and Power

A short time ago, I took a morning stroll—a nice 2.5 mile-long stroll (give-or-take a few feet). I meandered along local roads I’d never been on, walked a hidden trail in the woods, and made quite a few older ladies nervous by being the stranger to walk down their street, provoking their dogs to bark while the suspicious elders peeked through their curtains at me, scowling.
But that wasn’t the point of my walk. Instead, I was seeking to explore, first of all. And I was seeking to spend some time with God.
After awhile, I opened up my pocket Bible to Psalm 29. It read,

1Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.
3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.
4 The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is majestic.
5 The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon skip like a calf,
Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the LORD strikes
with flashes of lightning.
8 The voice of the LORD shakes the desert;
the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the LORD twists the oaks
and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, "Glory!"
10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
the LORD is enthroned as King forever.
11 The LORD gives strength to his people;
the LORD blesses his people with peace.

It’s a beautiful psalm, to be sure. But I couldn’t help but be a little surprised when I got to verse 9. “Hang on a second,” I thought, “Why are the people praising God while it seems as though a tornaquake…er, a hurrinado…um, I mean an earthicane—while natural disasters are going on right and left?” I don’t know about you, but if there’s a tornado going on, more than likely I won’t be crying out, “Glory!” I’m thinking it’d be more along the lines of “God, please don’t let me die yet!”
But the images painted by this passage aren’t about judgment or wrath or fear. I mean, they could be about any of these, but I don’t think that’s why everyone is praising God. Notice the words used—words like “splendor” and “glory”. Psalm 29 is about the absolutely enthralling, over-powering, all-engulfing Beauty of God.
And yes, that’s Beauty with a capital B, as in Actual, fully-real, 100%, pure Beauty. See, one cant’s see beauty without seeing Beauty—not truly. The beauty of this world cannot be fully appreciated without appreciating its Designer. And that’s what’s going on here. Fearing for one’s life aside, the raging power of the overturned elements is enough to get one to notice and, at least in some sense, to contemplate The Designer.
I mean, think about it. What power over beauty do we have? Can we really make beauty happen? After all, this world operates by natural laws we have no real control over. We can affect them, but we can’t control them. For example, think about the plant in your garden. You can water it, you can give it sunlight, you can prune it—you can do all the right things, but natural laws in effect are what actually determine the success of its growth. Ultimately, beauty is something we have no control over. Beauty is in God’s hands.
Now, sadly, the common definition of beauty often takes God out of the picture. Beauty is reduced to something shallow—something merely on the surface. Behind the elaborate décor of buildings are thin walls and plywood. Towering columns that look like marble are merely plastic fronts around central poles. And in terms of people, beauty is reduced to the false perfection of the outermost layer. Digital imagery allows the enhancement of facial features in print. The accentuation of the human form becomes the standard of beauty. And when all is said and done, beauty becomes only a façade. Minus the depth of True Beauty, the world becomes a shell of its truest self. And so do we.
As I pondered these things about beauty, I realized that, since you can’t truly appreciate beauty without appreciating the Designer, you have to come to terms with Faith. And Psalm 29 shows us a picture of faith. The people in verse 9 aren’t celebrating their strengths, their weaknesses, or their abilities. They aren’t even celebrating themselves. Instead, they’re celebrating God, and His power, splendor, and beauty. Faith is not believing I am capable of something. It is believing He is capable of anything. Sometimes, one thinks of faith as a hidden, seldom used power, and that if we could just really grasp it, we would have no limits. “Just believe, and you can do whatever you put your mind to.” Faith alone is powerless, just like beauty without God is only skin deep. Power—like Beauty—comes from what you have faith in, and that Power has a will of its own. God is Power, and Power can only be served, not owned. God is untamable and fierce. If you don’t believe me, try ordering a tornado around. Try stopping a hurricane. Try keeping the ground still during an earthquake. We aren’t really in control at all. That leaves us at His mercy. Depending on how you take that, it’s the most Beautiful position to be in.

What is man that you are mindful of him?

I just saw a random computer generated clip from NASA TV called "Cosmic Collisions." It covered the different possible collisions in our universe, from asteroids that, as they supposed, killed off the dinosaurs to the collision of galaxies. Yes, galaxies. As it told of collisions, it zoomed out of our solar system. That can make you feel small enough. Then it zoomed out to show the entire Milky Way. That makes you feel that you don't have anything on an atom--comparitively speaking, you don't even register. But when you watch the Milky Way collide with galaxy Andromeda, and the gases mix over what would have to be billions of years, and they combine to form a new united galaxy, what can you do but wonder, "Wow. Could it happen? Is that how big our universe is? Would I even notice if that happened (if I could live that long, that is)?" But then I had a thought. As I listened to "Walking in the Air" by Celtic Woman, I realized that watching galaxies collide seems something God might enjoy in His pastime. And why not might we enjoy it in Heaven? It's a wonder that He even wants us to watch galaxies with Him. Why does God care so much about not-even-atoms?

And how do we miss Him?

Be overwhelmed...

"God

shines

forth."

Ps. 50:2

"Send forth your light and your truth,

let them guide me..."

Ps. 43:3