Thoughts on Love and Freedom

"Often freedom is seen as the ability to do whatever you want. But freedom isn't being able to have whatever we crave. Freedom is going without whatever we crave and being fine with it."

-Rob Bell, SexGod

True Freedom is contentment.

"[Love/Eros] cannot of himself be what, nevertheless, he must be if he is to remain Eros. He needs help; therefore he needs to be ruled. [Love/Eros] dies or becomes a demon unless he obeys God. It would be well if, in such case, he always died. But he may live on, mercilessly chaining together two mutual tormentors, each raw all over with the poison of hate-in-love, each ravenous to receive and implacably refusing to give, jealous, suspicious, resentful, struggling for the upper hand, determined to be free and to allow no freedom..."

-C.S.Lewis, The Four Loves

True Love is willing to lose for freedom

over demanding its own in bondage.

"...the truth will set you free."

-Jesus, John 8:32

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

-Paul, I Cor. 13:7

True Love sets free.

"...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

-Paul, II Cor. 3:17

True Love is True Freedom.

Not Psalm 22 exactly

My God, My God! Why have I forsaken you?
Why do I remain distant?
Why do I ignore my heart's cries for help?

Everyday you call to me, my God, but I do not answer.
Every night. I hear your voice, but
I do not listen.

You are holy...

(To me:) Do not stay so far from God,
for trouble is near
and no one else can help me.

My life is poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax,
melting within me.
My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
I have laid myself in the dust and left myself for dead.

O Lord, why do I stay away?
You are my strength--I must come quickly to you!

Rescue me from myself.

Snatch me from the jaws of the lion
of numb complacency,
and from the horns of these wild oxen
of chaos, disorder, and decay.

The poor will eat eat and be satisfied.
All who seek the Lord will praise him.
Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.

62

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done. For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory;

you will be called by a new name

that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah [it means "my delight is in her"] and your land Beulah [it means "married"]; for the LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth. The LORD has sworn by his right hand and by his mighty arm:"Never again will I give your grain as food for your enemies, and never again will foreigners drink the new wine for which you have toiled; but those who harvest it will eat it and praise the LORD, and those who gather the grapes will drink it in the courts of my SANCTUARY." Pass through, pass through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Build up, build up the highway! Remove the stones. Raise a banner for the nations. The LORD has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: "Say to the Daughter of Zion, 'See, your Savior comes! See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.' "

They will be called the Holy People,

the Redeemed of the LORD;

and YOU will be called Sought After,

the City No Longer Deserted.

50 times down but never undone

Everyone falls.

Thus:

Redemption.

Regeneration._____

__________Restoration.

Reconciliation._______________

Revive!

Life is barely made of some dormant, constant root;

Rather, it more pervasively consists in a slew of

the life-altering Envigorating Prefix:

"Re-"

Boxed Hearts

I was journaling the other day, and as I wrote, I felt that God wanted to answer me in my writing. So, I began a conversation, maybe with God, or perhaps just with my own thoughts portraying my idea of Him on the page. Whatever the case, this was the interaction we shared, beginning with the following verse:

God (Micah 6:3): "What have I done to you? How have I burdened you?"

Me: Rules. All of these weighty thoughts of what should I do, what's the right thing to do, is this right or wrong, GUILT.

God: None of that is me. Where is your heart, Daniel?

Me: Where? Uh...is it not with you?

God: You have it right now.

Me: Why do I have it? We both know I can't take good care of it. I don't think. I mean, we see how that's worked out so far. . . . How do you care for a heart?

God: Let it beat.

Me: I'm not?

God: Are you?

Me: I'm not. I'm squeezing. Clutching. Surpressing.

God: Hearts burst that way. Blood must flow freely.

Me: I plug up my veins, don't I? I stuff my heart in a too-small box. How many times have I dropped it, now? What do I do?

God: Give it to me. Let me unwrap it.

Me: Like a Christmas present.

God: A gift. Gifts aren't meant to stay in boxes. They're to be opened and enjoyed.

Me: Take my heart, Jesus! Take care of it! I can't love hearts right. I only know how to box them up.

God: Boxed hearts strain to beat. Free hearts dance to the beat. Free your heart. Boxes are so unnatural, anyway. I don't make boxes.

Me: So what should hearts go in?

God: My hands.

Me: Care for my heart, Jesus, and teach me how to care for it, too.

God: Let it beat.

Me: How?

God: Stop hoarding it away. Freely you have received. Freely give. Nothing held back. Start here, with me. Give it all to me. Otherwise, you can't give. A heart works only in wholeness. Try and cut off parts, you bleed everywhere, and it is drained of life. Wholly give it to me, and I am free to hold it freely so that, in my hands, it can beat freely, give freely, and love freely. You will not know your heart, nor will you know anyone else's, nor will they know yours, nor will you know mine, until you uncover your heart. Give it up.

Me: How do I know you won't break it?

God: I break nothing that I do not mend whole. Some things cannot be whole unless they are first broken more. I am not about destroying your heart--not your dreams, your desires, your hopes, or your longings. I am about redeeming and fulfilling. Wholeness is what you want. There is no wholeness apart from me. Come to me.

Me: But...

God: Trust me. I love you.

Journey to the Center

I'm beginning to see just how much we as Christians pay so much attention to tidying up ourselves on the outside. But we spend so much time trying to look good on the outside, we end up as shells of who we really want to be and were made to be. How many of us spend years living outside lives--existing outside of ourselves, refusing to admit what's going on inside? And then we wonder why we can't find God.

The reason is because God doesn't reside on the outside of a person. When you begin a relationship with Christ, He enters into the core of your being. If you never go there, you won't ever really meet with Him, because He isn't concerned about how well it looks like you're holding things together on the outside. His focus is True Internal Reformation of the Soul. He hopes to find you there, too, but He doesn't force any changes. You have to choose them. Otherwise, your heart just gets stale, then moldy, then unbearably putrid; eventually, you'll end up facing what's in there one way or another. It's much better if you choose to face it.

I'm not saying all this to prove that I'm an expert. Actually, I'm saying it because I've just discovered it. I, myself, have ignored my heart and the things going on inside for awhile. And I finally have come to the point where I'm ready to bring all of the messiness to Jesus--or let Jesus in to all the messiness (however it works). He says He wants to meet me there, inside, in my center. He wants to bring me; to take me into my heart--into all the pain and the bitterness and the sin and filth and decay. He wants to show me the Good He's placed there, the Truth, the Meaning. He wants to dig through all the chaos and disorder and uncover something beautiful and brilliant and strong that's been buried underneath:

Me.

Jesus won't purify the heart without invitation, however. And it's not a pretty process. Already, as I make my way inside, into the core of my life, I have uncovered terrible fears, horrors of pain, and some things I didn't even know were there. And I've just begun. But I'm not going into all of this without Him. It's just plain discouraging if you do. And though it's overwhelming either way, with Christ, as you plunge into the dangerous darkness of this cavern, Light makes its way inside. Healing can start. Only with Jesus can you find the treasure buried inside of you, because He's the only One who can bring it out of you. He put it there, but it was buried over time by all the mis-truths and lies and destructive forces that have seeped in--or have been let in.

What would it be like if we stopped living externally? What if we actually went inside, where Jesus is? He won't meet us on the surface. Asking Him to is like asking a musician to make a song with only one note, or an author to write a book using 3 letters. He goes much deeper than the shallows we wade in--the weight of His glory is too heavy for false externity. And if we ever want to really know Him, know ourselves, and know Life, we have to go with Him, sink with Him, into the crushing depths, wherein our hollow shells collapse and we find ourselves finally free.

He is Spirit.

We are spirit.

To live on the outside is to deny ourselves the reality of both.

More concisely, to live on the outside is to deny ourselves--what He has made.

But let's be frank about this:
you and I both know that

to live on the outside

isn't really living

at all.

A note from someone overlooked:

Watch for me.

-God.